Hola, Amigos. I know it’s been a while since I rapped with ya. (Bonus points to anyone who can spot that reference.)

Anywho, the Adventures in Fatherhood haven’t stopped. I’ve flat out been too lazy been working so hard to be a positive role model to my treasured daughters that the blog has become secondary. Ok, tertiary. Ok, I suck.

So we’re sitting in the car, my daughters and I, while my wife heads into the local pharmacy. Weirdo queries of me, “What’s mommy going into the store for?” Unfortunately I was too far engrossed in sports talk radio to consider my answer before giving it. Let’s join our show already in progress (pronounced pro-gress, because that’s fancier), shall we?:

Weirdo: Daddy, what’s mommy going into the store for?

Best Dad Eva: She needs tampons.

Weirdo: What are tampons?

Best Dad Eva: Once a month mommies have blood come out of their vaginas. The tampons soak that up.

Weirdo: (Long pause) I’m never going to bleed out of my vagina.

Best Dad Eva: Your lips to God’s ears, kiddo. Your lips to God’s ears (string of mumbled curses about the Tigers).

That’s quality parenting anyway you slice it. I didn’t fill her head with fairy tales, I didn’t dodge the issue, and at the same time the birds and bees talk can wait until after they update me on the score in the Tigers/White Sox game.

Strong.

P.S. Best part about this post? I get to put words like “tampon” and “menstruation” in my tags. God I love this blogging shit.